by Mary Gallagher
Here at Freedom Farm we have a welcome ambassador, his name is Salty. His special talent is making friends with any new horse that comes to the farm. Salty has a technique that is so effective that when a new horse arrives on the place I like to take time out to watch him work. |
| Salty and Friends |
Through the years I've learned a few techniques that I see Salty using consistently, and so effectively that I think it is worth sharing with you. But first I would like to share a story about how I came to discover some of these techniques.
Some years ago, when I was trying to get Meho to trust me, it just seemed like nothing was working and I nearly gave up. I was going through the Parelli program at the time, so I signed up to go to the Parelli center for six weeks - just Meho and me to figure out this relationship thing.
Over that six-week period I discovered that the peace that was most important to Meho was basic: he needed to know that I cared about what he wanted. That meant just hanging out with him in his pen or wherever it was he wanted to be. He needed to feel that my presence near him was not going to cause him any discomfort. Oh that cursed agenda! You have no idea how hard it was to silence my need to take him away from his herd and go do what I wanted to do.
What I learned was how powerful intentions were and how important it was to be in the moment. I learned to not have intentions and to go where he wanted to go and just hang out with him. Wherever he was comfortable - that's where we hung out. I became a herd mate (friend). It seems pretty crazy traveling three thousand miles (not to mention the expense) just to figure out this one thing, but Meho was a very extreme case and I wanted to know how to be a better horseman for him.
In this hanging-out period I found that tailing or following him was more effective then leading him somewhere. That paid off big time when I started taking him to shows again. He used to be so herd or stall bound that you could hardly get to the schooling area, and when you got there he was just a basket case until we got back to the barn. So I changed my thinking to be void of intentions. Instead of arriving at the show and immediately tacking up and getting on, I allowed him to take me for walks around the show grounds. I just tagged along at the end of the lead rope letting him explore where he was comfortable. As he saw me as a friend that would investigate with him he got braver, and our ability to maneuver around the show grounds and in the show arena skyrocketed. Meho became brave and very competitive; he enjoyed and understood the purpose of what we did. Most of all I enjoyed spending time with him; it was like our special time.
One of the kindest ways to show some one you care about them is to just be there, truly in the moment, support their interest, without judgment or interference. Just be present with no intentions. This may seem easy until you actually try to do it. Take a lesson from Salty.
You don't have to travel three thousand miles and spend a lot of money to learn how to earn the trust and friendship of your horse - just pack a lunch and come out and watch Salty.
(Originally published June 2013)
